Pure Devotion
by the lola
Summary: Blaise reflects on his unrequited love for Ginny.


A/N- Well, this was written for the **Anti-Valentine's Day Competition. **I can't help myself from entering all of these but it's taking me away from my multi-chapter fics, hehe! In the bits that are flashes of broken memories, underlined italics is Blaise, plain italics is Ginny. Hope you all like, don't forget to **review and favourite!**

**Okay, so it won't let me have all the underlining i put in. Hopefully you guys can work out who's Ginny and who's Blaise, or just be imaginative ;) sorry!**

* * *

He sat on the lone chair in his living room. _**This isn't how things were supposed to happen. **_

He watched the amber liquid swirl round his glass. He relished the burning as it slid down his throat.

Seeing his reflection in the glass made him think only one thing: _pathetic. _

She didn't love him, never would.

Becoming hypnotized by the drink, firstly he saw her hair, then her eyes.

_He was fixated on that beautiful mahogany hair. The way it sparkled when it caught the light, the thickness. He wanted to run his hands through it, tug and pull it. She was fascinating. Who is she?_

_He nudged Draco._

"_Oi, who's that girl?" He pointed at her, hoping no one would take much notice._

"_Ugh, her? Ginny Weasley. Although, I call her Weaslette. She's a blood traitor, and shes ginger." He made a face._

_What was wrong with her being ginger? He thought her hair was the most amazing thing. "So you don't like her?" _

_Draco shook his head, grimacing._

_Oh well, that meant he was in for a chance. Blood traitor though? He didn't care but his friends would. He needed to talk to her. _

_She sauntered out of the library, and he grabbed his stuff before chasing after her. Draco didn't even look up. _

_Five steps behind. Three. Nearly there. He turned on the charm. _

"_Excuse me?" He grinned._

"_Erm, hi." She raised an eyebrow quizzically._

"_Hi. I'm Blaise, Z-"_

"_Zabini, yeah, I know." She was growing impatient already. "Do you need something?" _

_So she knew him. Why was it he had never seen her until now? "Oh no. Just wanted to introduce myself."_

_She cut him off again, smirking. "I'm sure you did. Let me guess, here to play a prank, deliver an insult? Get it over with then."_

_Confused, he shook his head quickly. "No of course not! I really did want to introduce myself. I saw you, realized I'd never seen you before-"_

_Again, she cut him off, this time rolling her eyes. "Obviously, the great Blaise Zabini would never notice someone like **me**."_

"_You've got a thing for cutting people off… No that isn't it at all-"_

"_You're seriously wasting my time." She folded her arms._

"_I want to get to know you." He said seriously._

"_You want to get to know **everyone**." She laughed knowingly. _

"_What's that supposed to mean?" _

"_You know what it means." With that, she stalked off, leaving him gaping at the air before him. _

_He liked her._

_A lot._

* * *

All the cat and mouse games they had shot through his mind.

"_-Wait!"_

"_Come on, don't be like that."_

_A wink._

"_Shut **up!**"_

"_All you do is lie."_

_A slap._

"_I haven't-"_

_"Cutting me off again Weaslette."_

_G_ritting of teeth.

"_Biggest man whore in the school."_

"_Congratulations on fucking the school slut."_

_Sarcastic claps. _

* * *

"_Weaslette!" He grabbed her wrist._

_Her eyes shot daggers at him. "What do you want Zabini? My name is Ginny! Ugh" She hissed, trying to yank her wrist away from him._

"_I need to talk to you." He tried to keep it serious, he honestly did, but he couldn't help but wink. Serious wasn't his forte. _

_She rolled her eyes. "About what? Could the great Blaise Zabini possibly want to bed me now too? Blood traitor? Ginger?" _

_His heart sunk. This wasn't going like he hoped, yet again. Why was she so resistant to his advances? He watched as her beautiful red locks shone in the sun. She was amazing. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. Laughing, "Yeah, that's it. Caught me out I guess!" He chuckled, walking away. _

* * *

He groaned in frustration as he gulped down more liquid. He needed to drink if he was still sober enough to think about her. Without warning though, he swam back into his memories.

_A very drunk, slutty looking Ginny Weasley stood before him. Her hair in waves down past her…large breasts, a short tight black dress, and huge heels extending her legs to ridiculous lengths. Her snowy complexion stood out against all the black, especially on her face. _

_She giggled. "Who **are **you?"_

_Should he walk away now? Bad things could end up happening… still, he couldn't help himself. He swaggered closer. "You know me, beautiful." _

_Laughing, she slurred, "Well that's hardly surprising, everyone knows me these days…" Her face crumpled, as if she was about to start crying._

_Oh no, he wasn't good with drunk girls, let alone **crying **drunk girls. "What are you talking about?" He slid an arm round her to help her stay standing, but she rejected it, slumping down the wall._

"_I'm a slut! A mess! Yuck!" She wailed, bracing her head between her hands. _

_A slutty Ginevra? He wasn't sure he liked that. She was his, even if he had no balls to tell her so. She didn't take him seriously anyway._

"_No, you're not. You could never be a mess, or a slut. Come on, you need to sleep this off…" He was unsure where he could take her, without the risk of taking advantage._

_By this point, she was sobbing uncontrollably, makeup now running down her face. Between sniffs she managed to get out, "Okay…but…I…want…to…go…back to yours…I like…you." He wasn't sure he'd heard right, and when he realized he had, his heart skipped a dozen beats- even if it was the alcohol speaking._

_He pulled her up, placing strong arms around her, and apparated back to his. Raising his eyebrow as she placed a sloppy kiss on his mouth, "How do you know I'm not some freak bringing you here to molest you?" _

"_I don't know…something about you, just makes me trust you…" She trailed off, pushing him into the wall whilst giving him hungry kisses._

_He couldn't hold back, he'd been waiting for this a very long time. Taking advantage? Yes. So very wrong? Yes. Going to do it anyway? Oh yes._

* * *

Now he was getting angry. _She _started the deception. He never lied, never pretended to be anything he wasn't.

"_So why are you still at my house? It's been a week you know. You hate me." He raised his eyebrow, smirking. Maybe luck was on his side for once._

"_I don't know. Like it. Like you. Let's go out tonight." She smiled from his bed._

"_Dinner?" Hope squirmed inside of him, only to be crushed in seconds._

"_No, a club or something. Everyone from Hogwarts goes there. We can show ourselves off." _

* * *

"_Dinner?"_

"_Club."_

"_Dinner?"_

"_Event."_

_A glance in Harry's direction._

"_What are you looking at?" _

"_Nothing."_

_Brown eyes staring straight through him._

"_What's wrong with you?"_

_Sudden grinding._

"_Your hot then your cold. Right now, you're cold."_

_Sudden kissing._

_Eyes never quite focused on him._

* * *

Grinding his teeth, he poured more alcohol. He had always known, and he chose to ignore it.

"_Ginny?"_

"_Yes?" She didn't look at him, kept looking at herself._

"_I love you. You know that, right?" _

"_Yes, you too." _

* * *

He never really minded she never said those three words.

"_Ginevra, listen to me!" He tried to keep his voice calm, but she frustrated him._

"_What!" She screamed._

"_Where have you been? Last night, the night before, every night for the past week infact!"_

"_Staying with friends." She narrowed her eyes, pushing him into a corner._

"_Don't. Lie. To. Me." _

_She threw her hands up in frustration, grabbing a glass from the coffee table and throwing it at the wall. She was very scary when she wanted to be. "I'm not lying! Merlin Blaise, don't you trust me?" She carried on shouting, smashing another glass._

"_Our relationship just seems so fake. One minute you're all over me, loving and perfect. The second, you're hostile and angry, as if I've constantly done something wrong. What is this?" He was so scared; she could be cheating on him. The relationship wasn't right, it never had been, but he couldn't bring himself to end it. She was his lioness._

* * *

_Smashing. _

_A lot of smashing things._

_"You don't love me."_

_Harsh, Monotone words._

"_You never did."_

_Clenching the jaw._

"_Don't. Lie."_

_Trying to keep calm._

"_I did!"_

_Screaming._

"_I can't do this!"_

_Shouting._

"_Stop this!"_

_Wailing._

"_I'm leaving."_

_Weak punches. _

_Holes in walls._

"_I hate you."_

_Crumbling of insides._

_Silence._

* * *

Everything clicked long ago. But this was clarification. She never loved him. He was a piece in her game to get Harrys attention.

She didn't need to do that, Harry only ever had eyes for her.

Worst of all, Blaise knew he would never love someone like he loved her.

He threw the glass at the decrepit floor. The floor he ripped up to remove traces of her from _their _home. _His _home, he corrected himself.

His eyes were wide as he focused on replaying their conversation from this time last year again and again, hoping something good might come from it.

"_Blaise, I don't love you." Her face crumpled, but her eyes were hard. She was a good actress. What was real?_

"_He won't ever love you like I do Ginny. I never abandoned you. I never would." He bit his lip, telling himself not to cry, to man up._

_She placed a hand on his shoulder, staring into his eyes. They pierced his heart. "Please, don't do this. It only hurts you worse. Stop chasing me. I can't love you."_

"_Tell me, Ginny, did you ever think it was crushing me to toy with my feelings like that?" He grit his teeth._

"_Nothing worse than what you did to Daphne and Pansy." She raised her eyebrow, and he knew the fight in her was coming out to play._

_His heart was stinging. That was **different**. "I thought you would never give me a chance, you never took me seriously, I thought if I couldn't love you I could learn to love them. It's not the same as what you did." _

"_I still don't take you seriously Blaise. You took advantage of me when I was drunk, then let me stay in your house for a week, and let it turn into a relationship? What sort of person does that?" Her voice was raising steadily._

"_Somebody driven mad with love Ginny."_

_It looked like guilt suddenly hit her, as a single tear ran down her face. He took the opportunity and grabbed her hand. _

"_Please, come with me."_

"_Don't make this worse than it already is. I'm not coming with you, please just go. I don't want to see you anymore."_

_He cocked his head, sighing. "So this is what it feels like." _

_She frowned. "What?"_

"_Realizing that you've lost something you never actually had." He rubbed his eyes furiously as tears stung at his eyes._

_Her eyes looked pained, but she clearly wasn't feeling enough. "Goodbye, Blaise." The door closed on his face._

Now though, he didn't have to hide his tears. The stripped down walls could hold in what he couldn't. Today was Valentines Day. Otherwise known as mourning Ginny day. The day he lost her. She's made herself as good as dead to him.

He was startled as a squawking owl flew in from one of the many open windows- he could never get the smell of her to quite leave, even though nothing of her was left now, he made sure of that. The letter dropped in his lap, seal unbroken.

It didn't matter; he would wait forever and a day. He'd never love again. He couldn't.


End file.
